The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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