i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
