i think i have herpe
just one?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
