You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize