I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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