Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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