all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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