Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
