i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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