Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
is it fun? or sober?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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