your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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