none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize