when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
