Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
of course. lets lasso hookers.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
