I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize