I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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