is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
