She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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