I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
