My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just googled if crying burns calories
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
