I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Randomize
