There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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