I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Randomize
