R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
her facebook's as public as her vagina
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
