My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
