my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
