It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
