Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
