So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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