Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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