is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
