Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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