Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
