I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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