last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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