My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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