Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
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