your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
