Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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