I should be sponsored by Trojan
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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