Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
