its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
