WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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