they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
