Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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