Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
