She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
