So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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