I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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