If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
