it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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