3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
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