I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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