fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
