were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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