I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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