went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
