Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
