just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
