Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
