I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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