Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize