help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Randomize
