Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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