so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Randomize
