I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
