I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
