Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I just want nice things and good sex
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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