the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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