I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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