I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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