We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
