Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
