do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
So much rum. So many feels.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Randomize
