You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
